Do you know how to listen to silence?
I did not.
What do you expect from silence?
I expected a lot and I did not get any of it.
Silence can be a destructive and disturbing force. There can be a silence of hatred, a silence filled with fear or silence of the unknown. Silence can be so threatening that we make sure that all the gaps are filled with synthetic noise. However, at the same time there is awesome power in silence, a state often considered to be the root of everything. The “place” where you can be yourself, where many external influences dissolve. As you dive into silence what happens? Thoughts start to appear. Images start being born; then they disappear. They go on and off. So sinking into silence is sinking through different layers of illusions of our persona towards our real individuality, to that place of inner stillness.
I met with silence long time ago, but for the first time in my research process as an essential tool, when I was trying to create a reflective moment for a spectator in my installations. It can become a very special moment for an audience, when they are invited to go deep inside themselves. When it suddenly turns into an acknowledgement tightly connected to our past experiences. And this new attraction towards of all unknown possibilities of silence has developed into a broad research that has expanded to different directions. I would rather sum it up as an ongoing, interactive and open research project that has further outgrow my school interests and shifted into my own self development and has changed my personal point of view on perceiving things of my daily life.
At certain point of my artistic research I decided to fully commit to seek the silence in works of the other artists and in my everyday life as well. I realized that if I want to work with silence I need to acknowledge as many shades of it as possible. And therefore beside my research through making, building up and reflecting I was participating in a different parallel activities that I chose intuitively by their more or less specific silent aspects. From activities such as wandering in the nature, capturing a calm spots close to a very contrasting or busy environments, the sport climbing, the slack lining, the floating to attending 10 day course of Vipassana meditation in silence. One of the main benefits was that I have started to see SOUND, TIME and SPACE as inseparable elements of this very broad and abstract, however, very complex topic. Hence, this research document deals with this matter, it can never fully reflex its complexity. And what you can witness here as a reader, is only the representation of my research on silence restricted by the form of printed medium. However, during designing of this book that tries to summarize my findings, I really focused on creating representation in its essence as silent as possible. As well I hope that a specific choice of paper that I made, will create a small silent journey through my explorations for you.
If you prefer less linear approach to my research document feel welcome to visit my blog with the same title https://loudthoughtsonsilence.wordpress.com/ that functions as a parallel representation. And the core of my two years research documentation with more details is available on https://deleteresearchmodify.wordpress.com/. Although I am offering you three different embodiment of my research process, however, please be aware that the only and the best form to present my research on silence is in the experiencing of my work itself where you can meet with silence that came through slightly different phases.
When silence meets you, its reflection of silence within you. It becomes a part of you, like an old friend, whom you have known for ages. This moment of reflection is one of the most crucial moments in our life. They are necessary for a process of evaluation, confrontation. Usually they function as a closure sequence or as an instant realization of some personal dilemma.